Village life

Home Schooling: In The Beginning

One of the hardest decisions I ever had to make.

One of the hardest decisions I ever had to make.

It took me a long time to make up my mind when I was deciding to homeschool my son. I suffered many nights tossing and turning, and when I couldn't sleep I got out of bed and walked around the house hoping I'd come to my decision so I could go back to bed and sleep. I talked to neighbours, teachers, strangers I met in the street and family. All said, "Why would you want to homeschool? You won't have any time to yourself. It's the  only time I get away from my kids. It's going to take up too much of your time. You'll be with him twenty-four-seven. What about his socialisation, you can't cut him off from other children, especially when he's an only child. He'll end up a loser." These comments and more made me feel I was "the loser".

That last comment was the one that burned me the most and really got my ire rising faster than a tsunami. It was the turning point. Loser eh? The quote on the slate in this post says exactly what was going through my mind. My son wasn't coping with school life. He was bullied, the classroom was so noisy with rude children he'd become overwhelmed with the noise and have to leave the classroom. Teachers often found him out of the schoolgrounds. He just had to get away. I knew I had to do something because my son wasn't learning. When I checked his school books, nothing had been written in there for two terms. He was attending a private school. A week later, he was home with me and I was determined he wasn't going to set foot back in a school unless he wanted to.

Our first year was our hardest as Dan and I adjusted to being home together. Dan was in year seven. My husband ran a business from home, but he was out on jobs most of the time. I ran a business from home, too, so my time was divided between it and the homeschooling and running the house. What I learned about myself and my son during this time was more than I could have imagined.

Lesson number one, we were both individuals. Somehow, because he was my son, I thought he would work the same way I did: head done and just get the job done, also that when I'm focussed the rest of the world doesn't matter. Dan was different, he was easily distracted by noises, ringing telephones, and people coming and going, so that he just couldn't settle to the work. We solved this problem by encouraging him to listen to music while he worked. An outstanding result. At the same time, as he was completing his school work, he was able to do two or three things at one time which astounded me. He had two computer screens running several programs while he was listening to music and working.

My mind boggled. I stepped back and thought a moment. How could he be retaining all that he learned while he had all those distractions? The few times I insisted he focus on one thing, I was met with indignant stares and he refused my request. After much coercion from me where I said he would be more prolific and his school work would be finished faster, I got a shock to find his work stalled, and he was lost as though he'd been put in the middle of the jungle and didn't know which way to turn. My insistence in trying to organise his time failed miserably, so we returned to his way and hey presto, work was completed well before time with top marks. Well, if that was his way of learning, then who am I to change that?

I'm glad I learned this lesson. It made me aware that some of my employees may have had unusual working habits to be efficient. I learned how to get the best out of the people working for me to keep them happy and fulfilled in their work and develop a special relationship with them I may not have done otherwise. During the next few weeks I want to share other lessons I learned from home schooling.

Have you had a similar experience? Please leave a comment for me below.

The Tyranny of Belonging

African hearts

African hearts

I'm preparing my first novel, African Hearts, for uploading to Amazon. As I prepared the text, I was drawn to the conversation where Kam and Gina are on Monkey Rock taking some time out to look at the elephants washing in the creek down in the valley. To this time Gina has been challenged by village life in more ways than one. She questions Kam about belonging and what it means to belong. She also challenged me when I re-read this scene. I've just returned to the Gold Coast, so I began to think about the word 'belong', and a question came into my head: Does anyone belong anywhere?

I don't know about you, but I use this word lightly in conversation, especially where the meaning of life comes up. I looked up the dictionary and realised I've used this word incorrectly for most of my life.To belong is to be possessed, as in an item to be owned by someone. No wonder I became confused whenever I thought about where I belonged.

So what words should I be using instead of 'belong'. After much thought and free writing on this subject, I've come to the conclusion that belong is not a good word when we're meaning we want to 'fit in'. We don't want to be anyone's possession, we want to be a contributing part of a group, helping others and ourselves fit in, and sharing ideas with each other.

Kam thought he wanted to work as a surgeon in that big hospital in Kampala and Gina has been confused for some time about where she fits in; back in Australia or in Gumboli? So I've come to the conclusion they're talking about their life's purpose.

Nobody can own another person, however, they can live together contributing to and sharing a lifestyle and encouraging each other on their life journey. Is this the issue that Kam and Gina were dancing around while they were up at Monkey Rock? I've changed this scene and all the other belonging issues in the e-version of African Hearts. Watch this space for the new cover and when it will be available on Amazon for download to your Kindle.

So, I'm left to ponder further: belong is a strange word, I wonder where it belongs? I'm eager to hear your thoughts.